i seriously dont know what kinda shit i've been doing all this while.

only 1 more week left to exam. feel so stressed up! because i havent even started any revision. each time i say i wanna study, i end up doing every other thing - except for studying. why am i having such resistance to study? its not like im allergic to studying!

today was another wasted day. woke up, ate, watched tv, msn-ed, went out. i really dont know when i'll get start getting down to serious studying. i came to poly in a bid for "slack" life. but its too late when i realised such ideal lives do not exist in the real world.

if i continue being like this, i'll just drop CEM. in fact, i dont have to drop. i'll just end up failing the exam and be forced to drop that additional module. why do i have to end up being in such a state?


feel so guilty. but yet, that guilt is not driving me to get down to any serious studying. but again, im scared of not doing well again. i just really wanna do well luh!

and im going out on monday after school. and im most probably working on friday and saturday. wth! i just gotta be studying on sunday and monday.

i still remember what mr G told me at the end of secondary 3. "you got straight As only because you're hardworking. you must not slack!" and i let him down by slacking away the entire secondary 4 life. and it seems that i have not yet learnt from my lesson.

so hard to get motivated to study nowadays. with those kinda lecturers... and a brother who sleeps all day long.


perhaps i should start studying for ioc requiz. BLEH! you're my 1 and only source of motivation. haha! and i MUST do it. yes! the library is our playground. i must prove to myself that i can still do it! even if it means staying up all night to cram... i've done it once, and im sure i'll be able to do it again! HAHA.


JIAYOU to myself! and everyone else. XD