its 2am and im still awake now.
lagging behind in many many things. damn! havent even submitted my mip report. and i think the crs lecturer wants to see a draft for our crs ca3. my cd cip is gone too.
seriously... i dont understand why there's a module like cd which requires us to fulfil 10 hours of cip? absolutely ridiculous. what is the meaning of cip? what is volunteering? its just such a disgrace for people to suddenly commit their time to cip because they want to pass the module. if you wanna do things, do it with a sincere heart. why bother wasting time on something you dont want to do? what in the world are we all living for? to do things we dont like? FUCK! might as well have a "health and wellness" module where we have to clock in 30 hours of sports for 1 semester.
i dont want a stupid module called character development to develop my character such that i do things that's not sincere and not from the bottom of my heart. but if i wanna stay with a character where i do things sincerely, i face the risk of failing it and forwarding my modules and the possibility of being retained half a year. FUCKING INTERESTING THEORY! fuck la. what is character development? the 2 words totally dont fit what its teaching us. all the fucking wrong values. and its 50% somemore. just because of a bloody fucking irritating module like cd which forces us to do things to pass, im damn stressed cos i havent clocked in any hours. but if it have already been predestined for me to fail this module, then let it be... because you cant expect a sick person to climb the blocks and carry rice.
and i guess i might drop cem, for real this time. i really dont like to trouble all the good souls out there who are willing to teach me right before the exam. i'll feel guilty eating up people's revision time teaching me everything from start till end. and i deserve it because i've not been paying attention, so i shouldnt be wasting people's time. and i know i dont have the heart to study this module anyway. from the way i've been getting mc i think on 1 or 2 tuesdays to cover up, and ponning it all the time... its pretty obvious. and when priscilla asked me how come i didnt drop cem, i really went to think what happened and prevented me from dropping. i know my mind can do it, but my heart doesnt want to do it. and im someone who doesnt believe in doing things with the mind and without the heart, because to me, such people are failures in life.
and after thinking through, i think diploma plus is just another hoax. to many, it seems that diploma plus gives you some kind of advantage, i dont know what kind of advantage. better impression on potential employers? only applicable if you're competing with other poly students. bear in mind there's also the university students. though some employers would prefer hiring poly students cos they are cheaper than university graduates. and it frees up more time for people who are intending to go to university. but think about it, free time is definitely good. but you're spending an additional $1k on it now. in the future when you enter university, you do not have to spend an additional amount to take it, its a core module. so, it just means im wasting additional time and money now, coupled with the fact that im going nowhere near the field of chemical engineering in the future. overall, one conclusion: im considering dropping cem. so look down on me all you want.
exams are coming soon. i know i've been ignoring school work. but at least i've been living life to the fullest, doing what i enjoy and what i like. the only time i feel stressed is only at home and in school. and i've started playing bowling with dear again... after the storm has died down.
and i think i wont continue with nyaa anymore. i rather just waste $17 than to continue wasting more time and money on the activities and camp. seriously, my heart is not in it, i just cant bring myself to commit to it. so why bother too much and get myself all stressed up? not worth it. and defeats the purpose that im living.
so its 3am now, after all the ranting at my blog and smsing and talking on phone. school's at 8am tml. i'll give it a miss since im deciding dropping cem anyway. =D
ohbleh. there was a waiting list at the bowling alley last night. and dear was thinking about what to write for the name, and decided to write my name. because his name is just too common that i know of another lecturer called joseph teo and the person above my name on the waiting list is also joseph teo. -_- but i only love joseph teo boon pin. XD
cip at school library tml. this sucks! but at least this is better than asking me to participate in the rice project.
gd nite world.
